Still moving forward

So, I'm almost 2 weeks into this and so far - as of this morning - I'm down 7 lbs. That's not a big deal to a lot of people, but I have to be honest, I'm just happy not to be going steadily up anymore. Yes, I have a LOT of weight to lose, and yes, I know it's going to be a really long journey so I'm settling in and trying to be kind to myself and making better decisions rather than doing things that will frustrate me so much that I give up and quit.

I've successfully been on many diets - no sugar, no grains, keto, atkins, south beach, I've done so many I've lost count. I know that at my wieght I'm considered super morbidly obese or whatever, and I know that I can't just make up my mind to eat a few smaller meals and magically drop weight. Intellectually, there's a lot that I know. It's just that you have to apply it every single bite that you take forever. I was talking to someone online last night and I sortof went off about how hard it is to "be good" - Every. Single. BITE. Because it's not a battle you just fight in the morning. Or at night. It's literally every waking hour - a strong pull to go eat a cupcake. Candy. Soda. Chips. Something. Well, not anything. Because have you ever noticed none of us is craving carrot sticks? I've never had an anxiety attack fighting the urge to binge on salad. Why IS that??

And let's get really personal here for a moment. I KNOW I'm supposed to drink water - all day every day - but you know what? I think I'm running a track in the carpet here at work to the potty. It's gotta be 15 times a day. And the water fountain is right outside of the door so I refill my bottle and keep going. I almost think I could skip logging exercise because hey - I walked a mile to the potty today. Grrrrrrr....

Otherwise, I feel like I'm doing well. I feel stronger each day. I have more energy. When I walk I don't feel like everything aches. I think it's the Plexus - I feel happier too. Like, I joke around here at work more and I feel like I'm beginning to get more done. I have ADD, I know it, but it feels like I'm able to set more mini-goals and accomplish them instead of getting side tracked. Sortof a big deal right now with everything that's going on. Like, right now I'm writing this blog because I'm waiting for a query to run. I'm multi-tasking. And I've been able to do that all day. Which is great. I'm happy about it and I am beginning to feel better about who I am because - well - I'm happy. I like that. I like feeling positive. :) So, I'll keep doing it I think :)