Happy Saturday morning everyone :) Ok, third day on Plexus - yes, I woke up with more energy than usual - yes, I still stayed in bed as long as possible because it's SATURDAY!! But yes, I will be planting some things today and doing a few other things with my lil bit extra energy!

I have to say - getting on track is a lot easier than STAYING on track. The same motivation just doesn't carry through day by day. I'll get there - but I still have issues with saying no to foods that I like, even when I'm not at all hungry. Not even a little bit hungry. But breadsticks and cheese dip? Yes - I'll take one :) (One this time - instead of the whole appetizer).

I went to Wendy's for lunch yesterday - and I admit I'm a foodaholic, usually I'll get my lunch and then another lunch because food is good. I'll even pretend, kid you not, that I'm taking lunch back to someone else. As if anyone in the drive thru cares. But yesterday, I got one lunch. I got the salad. I ate it with water instead of soda. And I was full. I was ok. I almost also ordered the large chili, but I didn't so I'm counting that as a win.

Will I make the same great decisions every day for the next 2 years? Probably not. Like I said - getting on track is harder than staying on track. So, one day at a time. This morning I had a normal breakfast. Not a huge breakfast. Not 2 biscuits plus with jelly and butter and all. But one biscuit and sausage and eggs and normal serving of gravy. I know none of those are diet foods, but the fact that I only ate one regular human sized breakfast is a big deal for me. I normally will vacuum up my breakfast plus any leftovers. Raiden said he was full and threw away half of his breakfast. Seriously, normally I would have eaten that. Because I hate leftovers. It actually creates some ball of anxiety in my chest to think of good food going to waste. Thinking  about it now, Im still anxious about it. First world problems, I know, to be super morbidly obese because I'm afraid to throw food away.

I'm not entirely sure where that comes from and I'm not sure I'm ready to examine it all yet here in this blog, but yes, I grew up without a lot of extras. Yes, I'll always worry that what I have is never enough in case of an emergency or bad weather or job loss or whatever. Maybe that's it. If so, that fear will never go away so I'll always fight it or have to find ways to fight it so that I can eat normally. Like a human being instead of a werewolf. As though I don't have to worry about where my next meal is coming from when I'm actually (by normal standards) well off. Anyway - those are my thoughts this morning. And guess what? My exercise today will include planting some beans - because part of that worry that there's never going to be enough is the absolute need to prepare, plant, put away.... just like we did when I was a kid. I'll post pics of that soon. Have a great weekend!